funeralcrasher (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
funeralcrasher) wrote2004-07-25 02:50 am
funeralcrasher) wrote2004-07-25 02:50 am
too old?
I am almost dying to know, what is wrong with me that nobody wants to play with me? already two local bands have formed in the last two months that play vaguely similar music to what I've worked on over the past year. And after talking with someone tonight, again hinting that I would like to play music with them I get the distinct impression that I'm so not going to be part of even that.
I can't bear to stand by and watch this unfold. I'm sick to death of it all. I've been very supportive of local bands but I'm reaching a place where I must decide to keep my sanity or continue immersing myself in music, knowing that that stage I watch others play on so much will for god only knows what reason, never become a reality for me again.
There are no words to describe the utter frustration and disappointment I feel right now. I feel more bitter tonight than I've felt in a long time.
Two people suggested I continue writing and recording at home, but honestly what good is that to me? My dream isn't to record at home. Anyone can do that. And many do. My dream is to be on stage again.
I've played in three bands so far, none were hugely popular but nobody gave me any shit back then about god... again I have no idea what it is now that turns people off. Three and a half if you count a demo I recorded for DLS years ago.
You don't understand how much this means to me. Sure some of you think those demos are complete shite and thats your opinion but many more seem to really like them. I'm not asking for praise I'm just stating what I know to be true. For fucks sake, "Go Die" was played several times this year at Dead and Buried in the uk. Mick seemed to think it was at least interesting, if not good in spite of crappy production.
So why continue to abuse myself with reaching for something that seems to be untouchable, despite my best efforts?
Best of luck to all of you... I'm "" this far from walking away from it all. God damned one person to work with that's all I've asked for. What do I have now? A handful of good songs and no way to play them live.
This just sucks.
I can't bear to stand by and watch this unfold. I'm sick to death of it all. I've been very supportive of local bands but I'm reaching a place where I must decide to keep my sanity or continue immersing myself in music, knowing that that stage I watch others play on so much will for god only knows what reason, never become a reality for me again.
There are no words to describe the utter frustration and disappointment I feel right now. I feel more bitter tonight than I've felt in a long time.
Two people suggested I continue writing and recording at home, but honestly what good is that to me? My dream isn't to record at home. Anyone can do that. And many do. My dream is to be on stage again.
I've played in three bands so far, none were hugely popular but nobody gave me any shit back then about god... again I have no idea what it is now that turns people off. Three and a half if you count a demo I recorded for DLS years ago.
You don't understand how much this means to me. Sure some of you think those demos are complete shite and thats your opinion but many more seem to really like them. I'm not asking for praise I'm just stating what I know to be true. For fucks sake, "Go Die" was played several times this year at Dead and Buried in the uk. Mick seemed to think it was at least interesting, if not good in spite of crappy production.
So why continue to abuse myself with reaching for something that seems to be untouchable, despite my best efforts?
Best of luck to all of you... I'm "" this far from walking away from it all. God damned one person to work with that's all I've asked for. What do I have now? A handful of good songs and no way to play them live.
This just sucks.