(no subject)
About dating.. I haven't been on one in god.. 3 years or so, and before that another 5 years. In all that time I've become aquainted with only two people who i felt especially attracted to. Both lived thousands of miles away and like me had jobs or school and couldn't move. Oh make that three people, including a local person last year that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lordruthven knows about, though she wasn't very interested in dating and I felt like an idiot for telling her of my crush. Stupid me.
Anyway. Each time I deluded myself with thoughts of a genderless world (but not so much of uniform androgyny) where people moving in-between weren't quickly pushed aside in favor of either one or the other. Where someone like me actually stood a chance. But each ended similarly. As soon as I have the slightest hint that someone isn't interested then I move on.
Fail though I might, I try not to dwell on that too much. I become very bitter when I do. See I understand, I empathize, with those I've crushed over the last few years. I don't think anyone should be forced, coerced, or feel obligated to date someone they aren't attracted to (emotionally, physically, whatever). I also feel like dating someone just because there isn't anyone else around is a bad idea.
I know I'm an anomaly for most and will always be. I'm tall enough to play in the WBA (lol, i have *no* inclinations to btw). Until I find thirty-thousand laying around I have something attached to me that I couldn't care less about, and would prefer not having. Not to mention other physical characteristics which i'll never be able to change, even with the best surgeon. I'm dreadfully shy & quiet around those I don't know very well. I'm not particularly knowledgeable about anything, although sometimes I feel like I'm well versed in the art of self-destruction.
In short, I don't offer much to those I've felt attracted to, and that is why I try not to obsess over finding my increasingly elusive "soulmate".
So what do I want? Well I happen to be very picky, which maybe accounts for why I readily see so many of my own faults and shortcomings.
Firstly, I doubt I'd ever meet a boi I would consider dating. I've never felt any physical attraction for males nor do I have any desire to experiment for the sake of experimentation. While I'm glad to meet and befriend other ts people, I could never date another like myself (second paragraph, last sentence). I am attracted to girls who aren't sooo short that I feel like I'm going to tower over them, and to girls who are physically fit and could go on a 5 mile hike without issue. I don't want to date a mirror image of myself, either. Of course personality has a *lot* to do with my developing a liking for somebody as well, and if personality were there (and I'd know it from the beginning), the other things would be less of a concern.
Ok, I just realized that this stupid entry is beginning to read like a personals ad, and for that I should be stoned to death.
Unfortunately I cannot say that there was any real point in writing any of this, either.
*shutup Adrya and go to work*
I probably should, before I offer even more proof to the world that I'm a complete and total Loser.
lordruthven knows about, though she wasn't very interested in dating and I felt like an idiot for telling her of my crush. Stupid me. Anyway. Each time I deluded myself with thoughts of a genderless world (but not so much of uniform androgyny) where people moving in-between weren't quickly pushed aside in favor of either one or the other. Where someone like me actually stood a chance. But each ended similarly. As soon as I have the slightest hint that someone isn't interested then I move on.
Fail though I might, I try not to dwell on that too much. I become very bitter when I do. See I understand, I empathize, with those I've crushed over the last few years. I don't think anyone should be forced, coerced, or feel obligated to date someone they aren't attracted to (emotionally, physically, whatever). I also feel like dating someone just because there isn't anyone else around is a bad idea.
I know I'm an anomaly for most and will always be. I'm tall enough to play in the WBA (lol, i have *no* inclinations to btw). Until I find thirty-thousand laying around I have something attached to me that I couldn't care less about, and would prefer not having. Not to mention other physical characteristics which i'll never be able to change, even with the best surgeon. I'm dreadfully shy & quiet around those I don't know very well. I'm not particularly knowledgeable about anything, although sometimes I feel like I'm well versed in the art of self-destruction.
In short, I don't offer much to those I've felt attracted to, and that is why I try not to obsess over finding my increasingly elusive "soulmate".
So what do I want? Well I happen to be very picky, which maybe accounts for why I readily see so many of my own faults and shortcomings.
Firstly, I doubt I'd ever meet a boi I would consider dating. I've never felt any physical attraction for males nor do I have any desire to experiment for the sake of experimentation. While I'm glad to meet and befriend other ts people, I could never date another like myself (second paragraph, last sentence). I am attracted to girls who aren't sooo short that I feel like I'm going to tower over them, and to girls who are physically fit and could go on a 5 mile hike without issue. I don't want to date a mirror image of myself, either. Of course personality has a *lot* to do with my developing a liking for somebody as well, and if personality were there (and I'd know it from the beginning), the other things would be less of a concern.
Ok, I just realized that this stupid entry is beginning to read like a personals ad, and for that I should be stoned to death.
Unfortunately I cannot say that there was any real point in writing any of this, either.
*shutup Adrya and go to work*
I probably should, before I offer even more proof to the world that I'm a complete and total Loser.