holideath

[funeralcrasher]

So is anyone else loathing the coming holidays? I have so much anxiety over going to see family, especially one of my older brothers. I'd rather not have anything to do with him or his psychotic religion.

*sigh*

Life has been strange lately. On one hand stopping church activities has been helpful. On other other I miss socializing and feeling like I belong to something. But the one reason I decided to stop going is because I felt rejected by relatives who couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted me to be part of their extended family, or keep me at a distance.

I haven't thought about or prayed or felt much of anything for god/dess/creator/whatever lately. Every time I find myself getting close to church life something happens to push me back outside. It's not that my life is magically happier without religion. It's that I haven't found a true, loyal and loving family of believers to pick up where my bio family is choosing to leave off. At this point I'm not feeling picky. Are covens filled with unconditional love?

Or is unconditional love a great big lie?

Comments

[sttatus-quo.livejournal.com]

Unconditional love isn't a myth. There are people I love unconditionally. I think it's pretty rare because people are often afraid to be that open.

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

So unconditional love is a product of self openness, as opposed to something given to another person?

I can only speak from my own perspective..

[sttatus-quo.livejournal.com]

If I cannot remain open to receive love I cannot give it. I love more than I am loved. I make it my business to be that way. How I get to that place of unconditional love is the process of learning to trust the person with more and more of myself. That's the product of good boundaries and a long association.

Yes I get hurt sometimes but somehow I've always managed to climb back on the horse. It's also my responsibility to insure that there is balance for myself in the midst of love.. if I am not good to myself how can I expect it of others?

Sometimes I forget that. That's when I suffer for it.