holideath

[funeralcrasher]

So is anyone else loathing the coming holidays? I have so much anxiety over going to see family, especially one of my older brothers. I'd rather not have anything to do with him or his psychotic religion.

*sigh*

Life has been strange lately. On one hand stopping church activities has been helpful. On other other I miss socializing and feeling like I belong to something. But the one reason I decided to stop going is because I felt rejected by relatives who couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted me to be part of their extended family, or keep me at a distance.

I haven't thought about or prayed or felt much of anything for god/dess/creator/whatever lately. Every time I find myself getting close to church life something happens to push me back outside. It's not that my life is magically happier without religion. It's that I haven't found a true, loyal and loving family of believers to pick up where my bio family is choosing to leave off. At this point I'm not feeling picky. Are covens filled with unconditional love?

Or is unconditional love a great big lie?

Comments

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

Or is unconditional love a great big lie?

No it isn't. It may be elusive, but it does exist. Never give up hope.

*hugs*

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. *hugz*

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

No problem hon. I used to believe that unconditional love was either a farce made up by people seeking to pray on others or a myth made up by romantic fools. But at the risk of kinda rubbing my good fortune in your face (I hope it doesn't come out as that way), I recently found this out when I came out to my grandma as trans and bi this past weekend. Despite being 81 years old, she accpted me completely and just wanted me to be happy. I'd never had known what the lenghs of her love for me, but now I know that somehow, unconditional love is possible.

Someday you will find this out too, it just take patience though the wait may be hell on earth for us.

I also wish to add to sttaus_quo's point that another precondition for unconditional love for others is unconditional love of oneself. The fact that people cannot give unconditional love to you probley has more to do with thier own demons rather than being a problem with you.

[sttatus-quo.livejournal.com]

Unconditional love isn't a myth. There are people I love unconditionally. I think it's pretty rare because people are often afraid to be that open.

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

So unconditional love is a product of self openness, as opposed to something given to another person?

I can only speak from my own perspective..

[sttatus-quo.livejournal.com]

If I cannot remain open to receive love I cannot give it. I love more than I am loved. I make it my business to be that way. How I get to that place of unconditional love is the process of learning to trust the person with more and more of myself. That's the product of good boundaries and a long association.

Yes I get hurt sometimes but somehow I've always managed to climb back on the horse. It's also my responsibility to insure that there is balance for myself in the midst of love.. if I am not good to myself how can I expect it of others?

Sometimes I forget that. That's when I suffer for it.

[xiananarchist.livejournal.com]

>>So is anyone else loathing the coming holidays?<<

Yep. After the bad breakup, it has distinctly enhanced that "I hate the holidays" feeling. grrr

>>It's that I haven't found a true, loyal and loving family of believers to pick up where my bio family is choosing to leave off.<<

When I hear you say things like this, I wish you were up here with the group I've started. Have you considered getting a spirituality group together to meet regularly? That's what "church" really is. It could just be a matter of "hey, why not go get coffee weekly and talk and the deeper things of life?"

Sorry to hear you're still struggling to find a church family. And very sorry that the bio-fam craziness never subsides. I hope you have a happy Christma-Chana-Quanza-ka, despite all that.

Oh, and yes, I do believe in unconditional love. :)

Your cat loves you unconditionally...

[merlot-winters.livejournal.com]

the rest of us want your time/energy/money.

i hate xmas, too, but always do the obligatory holiday bullshit to keep my family placated. Does that make me a doormat? Perhaps i should join the Rebellion Against Christmas?

Re: Your cat loves you unconditionally...

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

>>Perhaps i should join the Rebellion Against Christmas?

Where do I sign up? ;o)

Re: Your cat loves you unconditionally...

[merlot-winters.livejournal.com]

i'm sure Bill O'Reily will tell you.

xoxoxoxox

Re: Your cat loves you unconditionally...

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

I guess I'll never know, I refuse to watch that talking pig.