funeralcrasher | holideath

So is anyone else loathing the coming holidays? I have so much anxiety over going to see family, especially one of my older brothers. I'd rather not have anything to do with him or his psychotic religion.

*sigh*

Life has been strange lately. On one hand stopping church activities has been helpful. On other other I miss socializing and feeling like I belong to something. But the one reason I decided to stop going is because I felt rejected by relatives who couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted me to be part of their extended family, or keep me at a distance.

I haven't thought about or prayed or felt much of anything for god/dess/creator/whatever lately. Every time I find myself getting close to church life something happens to push me back outside. It's not that my life is magically happier without religion. It's that I haven't found a true, loyal and loving family of believers to pick up where my bio family is choosing to leave off. At this point I'm not feeling picky. Are covens filled with unconditional love?

Or is unconditional love a great big lie?