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I should lay down and nap. I feel sleepy.
Yesterday my sis' Dara & I drove to North Carolina to pick up a motorcycle I bought. It was such a long drive but company made the trip bearable. It was dark on the way back and we barely missed a thunderstorm; I could see lightning illuminate the thunderheads off to the south. I remembered the ever-common long trips as a child to and from South Carolina and Atlanta. I used to be so afraid of thunder and lightning.
Anywya, listening to Myssouri on the radio I looked out the window, my own clouds forming inside. Off in the distance I watched dark blue sky press against pitch horizon. More lightning flashed in the distance and raindrops splattered against the glass. Sadness rose and spilled out of my eyes. I miss having a family, and feeling like I belong. I'm almost 35 and still feel like such an outsider. I'm surprised I haven't gone through with what I've thought about so much.
Earlier that afternoon, on the way up to Lexington, I drove through the neighborhood where I spent several years of my childhood. Everything looked eerily similar to how I remembered everything 25 years ago. Well everything except for our old Poltergiest-style house, which used to look kinda cool with wood sidewalls and jagged roof, but now has white vinyl siding all over - and our sideyard is missing all of the trees which were planted when we lived there.
I made it home around 11pm last night and went right to sleep.
Yesterday my sis' Dara & I drove to North Carolina to pick up a motorcycle I bought. It was such a long drive but company made the trip bearable. It was dark on the way back and we barely missed a thunderstorm; I could see lightning illuminate the thunderheads off to the south. I remembered the ever-common long trips as a child to and from South Carolina and Atlanta. I used to be so afraid of thunder and lightning.
Anywya, listening to Myssouri on the radio I looked out the window, my own clouds forming inside. Off in the distance I watched dark blue sky press against pitch horizon. More lightning flashed in the distance and raindrops splattered against the glass. Sadness rose and spilled out of my eyes. I miss having a family, and feeling like I belong. I'm almost 35 and still feel like such an outsider. I'm surprised I haven't gone through with what I've thought about so much.
Earlier that afternoon, on the way up to Lexington, I drove through the neighborhood where I spent several years of my childhood. Everything looked eerily similar to how I remembered everything 25 years ago. Well everything except for our old Poltergiest-style house, which used to look kinda cool with wood sidewalls and jagged roof, but now has white vinyl siding all over - and our sideyard is missing all of the trees which were planted when we lived there.
I made it home around 11pm last night and went right to sleep.
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Date: 2004-06-13 11:28 pm (UTC)From:In a way I know how you feel-it's hard sometimes to feel like you're alone....