Later days

So another has come and passed.   

Many good things happened last year but many areas of my life are in dire need of improvement.   

For instance I've started attending a 12-step program called Emotions Anonymous, after reaching a point of exasperation with my complete lack of self-control and poor social skills.  I guess I don't write a lot about it but sometimes intense fear consumes me;  fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of being happy... See, I'll never turn into a social butterfly but then that's not the point of EA.  I only want to grow and become emotionally healthy. 

I've started paying closer attention to what looks good on me.  Being tall and lanky doesn't make this easy.  The only tall women's clothing store in Atlanta is well out of my price range, except for the few clearance items I find on occasion.  So I've relied on an ebay store that sells tall sizes at much cheaper prices, but it's not the same as going to a store to try things on in person.    I've grown comfortable wearing pants where for the longest time I despised them due to the association I placed. 

I don't wear so much makeup anymore either.  Most mornings it's just a little eyeliner and nothing more.    Sometime next year I want to sit down with a professional to find out exactly what works and what doesn't, when I need to wear more than eyeliner. 

God I must do something with my hair.  I have a really awful tangle which I cannot seem to undo.  I'm afraid a salon will tell me that it will have to be cut out.  Something will need to be done soon though.. my roots getting very long and I need color. 

I shared with group last week that I plan on having BA this year.  Though a lot will depend on finances, which is another sore spot in my life.  I must learn to live with less and be content with what little I have (which really is a lot when I compare myself to others in the world). 

Most of the things I need to do in 2007 can be boiled down to simply loving and caring for myself.  I do so little of that now (and much less before). 


Enough of my babbling.  I wish everyone a happy, peaceful new year.   

gray matters

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The Endless, Athens in 1995

More nostalgia...

I'm on the right playing electric guitar. It was so dark on stage, I remember flubbing at least once in every song from losing track of the frets. There weren't many people at this show, which I think was our first public performance. Our second gig at the watt drew over 100 people which made us happy. This song is Pray and was one of my favorites:

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The clearing at the end of the path

With sadness I finished the final book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series this afternoon.   My ex introduced me to Roland of Gilead over twelve years ago and after reading the first three books in succession I eagerly awaited each subsequent release.   Without spoiling the plot I was a little put off by the continuation of a previous storyline from Song of Susannah.  The ending felt entirely too rushed, and I was disappointed with Roland's final destination (however original it may have been).  Some of the characters towards the end felt tacked on, especially the last.  I thought the Crimson King (and Flagg for that matter) would be a little harder to engage than King presented, but there it is.  What's done is done. 

Nitpicking aside I truly enjoyed the book and series, and am glad King chose to see the story through to the end.