Frozen Warnings

I hadn't realized how affected by last night's memorial until I sat down in the pews at st. mark today. thoughts of my mom overcame me, not having family, not having a relationship, not having a pretty singing voice, not having a pretty body, failing life.. just too much. how many more years of this must I endure? i almost got up and left mid service. probably disappointed a few people by not staying for breakfast class & 11am choir. my heart just wasn't there.. like many times before, i cried on teh way back home.

days like this suck. and usually, with me anyway, they snowball into long periods of depression and other complications. where's the shopping cart button.. i am ready to check out.